![]() Still, it’s tempting to try to change someone who doesn’t want to change, as if your sheer will and desire for them to improve will change them (as it has you). The only way that people change is through the desire and wherewithal to change themselves. There’s only one person in this world you can truly change-yourself-and even that takes a tremendous amount of effort. If you don’t fix what’s going on inside, no external event or item is going to make you happy, no matter how much you want it to.Ĩ. ![]() Too many of us expect a future event (“I’ll be happy when I get that promotion”) to make us happy, instead of looking more deeply into the real causes of our unhappiness. Sure, things can make life more fun and comfortable in the short run, but they can’t make you happy in the long run. Otherwise, you’ll limit the chances of that happening.ħ. If you fail, accept that sometimes you’ll fail and sometimes you’ll succeed, but if you pursue an endeavor, believe with all your being that you’re going to succeed in that endeavor. As I’ve touched upon already, if you expect to fail, you stand a higher chance of creating the very outcome you’re worried about. Communication isn’t anything if it isn’t clear, and your communication won’t be clear until you take the time to understand the other person’s perspective.Ħ. Whether you’re asking someone to do something without providing the context or explaining a complex concept behind a big project, it’s easy to leave out relevant information because you don’t think it’s necessary. You can’t expect people to understand you just because you’re talking-you have to be clear. People can’t read your mind, and what you’re trying to say is rarely what other people hear. Instead, focus on how you can find solutions that give everyone what they need.ĥ. Something that’s obvious to you might not be so to someone with different experiences and a different agenda, so stop being offended when people disagree with you, and stop assuming that there is only one right answer (yours). Sure, you know what you’re talking about, and for that reason, people should take you seriously, but expecting people to agree with you out of courtesy or because your ideas are so incredibly sound is another story. Instead of expecting that people will like you, focus on earning their trust and respect.Ĥ. (You can’t win them all.) When you assume that people are going to like you, you take shortcuts you start making requests and demands before you’ve laid the groundwork to really understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. When you think that everyone should like you, you end up with hurt feelings when you shouldn’t. People have hang ups, and that means all sorts of decent, kind, respectable people are not liked by (some) others, for no good reason at all. When you take action, think “what steps do I need to take?” “what obstacles are in my way and what do I need to do to remove them?” and “what mistakes am I making that take me away from my goals rather than toward them?”ģ. If we limit ourselves to what’s given to us, we are at the mercy of other people. You have to put in the hard work, then go and get what’s yours. Just because you deserve a raise, a promotion, or a company car, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. One of the most important things a person can do is stick his or her neck out and seek opportunity. Sign up here to get top career advice delivered straight to your inbox every week.Ģ. Subscribe To The Forbes Careers Newsletter Sometimes there isn’t any consolation prize, and the sooner you stop expecting there to be, the sooner you can take actions that will actually make a difference. When something “unfair” happens, don’t rely on outside forces to get you back on your feet. If you’re stuck in that mindset, it’s time to get over it (work on your emotional intelligence if this is a struggle for you). A surprising number of us subconsciously expect life to be fair, and we believe that any unfairness that we experience will somehow be balanced out, even if we don’t do anything about it. ![]() We’ve all been told a million times (and likely told other people) that life isn’t fair, but in spite of what we know about the intricacies of injustice, it’s a concept that doesn’t quite sink in in practice. Be especially wary of the expectations that follow-they give people all kinds of trouble.ġ. You need to be extra careful about (and aware of) the expectations you harbor as the wrong ones make life unnecessarily difficult. They can change your life, emotionally and physically.
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